A satirical 5e campaign supplement and resource book expanding the world of Monsters of Murka with new items, subclasses, and monsters!
Latest Updates from Our Project:
Walmoria editing continues with gusto!
over 4 years ago
– Sun, Aug 01, 2021 at 04:50:31 PM
Hiya Friends!
We're back at it again! After a weekish off, and then another week of dipping our toes in, we are back at it with final edits on Walmoria. Good news, after several grueling weeks of cutting, rewriting, rebalancing, and re-editing we are nearly halfway through Walmoria! Thus, we are beginning to slowly but surely close in on finishing this bad boy up. Then all that's left is getting it laid out before we get the PDFs out to you and the physical copies shipped!
Now for The Good Stuff!
The Good Stuff
Today's teaser is brought to you by The Gates of Exidor. The Gates of Exidor, because one does not simply walk out of Walmoria!
Alt Text: A snapshot of a google doc whose text reads "A player character who attempts to take an item from Walmoria through dishonest means should suffer catastrophic punishment—Walmorian justice is nothing if not final. Whenever a creature attempts to steal from Walmoria through the Gates of Exidor, roll on the Defensive Measures table. In addition to the defensive measures taken by the gates, activating a defensive measure may also draw the attention of nearby loss-prevention ogres, who will be more than happy to reclaim any stolen goods, by force if necessary." underneath is a d6 roll table to choose the appropriate punishment. 1- Forcecage, 2 - The Walrog, 3 - Orb-ital Defense, 4 - Pitfall, 5 - Magical Disjunction, 6 - Corporeal Relocation"
Okay but like, words and puns are only so good. Where's the art? "Where's the sense of dread"? You ask. I deliver:
Alt Text: Large, gothic gates stand high in front of a group of adventurers. The pillars are covered in eye-like orbs and the gates are open just a crack, revealing a single beam of light that washes over our 9-member party. Spelled out overtop the gates in spikey, gothic lettering is the phrase "thank you come again"
Conclusion
Like I said up top, We are working our way through Walmoria at a steady pace and are picking up steam both physically from working very hard and emotionally, as we seem to be making good progress. Thank you all so much, for so much, but especially for your patience and understanding these days. We've got a lot of wonderful things coming your way, but I promise you, our 1st, 2nd, and 3rd priorities are getting these books into your hands.
With all the love we can muster,
Brad and the Team
P.S. Playtesting!
Did you dig the playtesting we did for Restaurants&Retail forever ago? Did you miss it and feel bummed? Well bum yourself no more! Chromatic Gamut Public Playtesting is happening right now over here on our discord server! Just sign on, get the appropriate tags, and sign up!
Belated Update, but with some Sneak Peeks!
over 4 years ago
– Wed, Jul 07, 2021 at 11:40:43 PM
Thank you all for your patience!
As you're all aware, our last update said that we'd get another one to you Saturday after our long editing meeting. We did in fact do some editing on saturday, but due to one of our Core Team Members having an emergency, we did, in fact, not get the chance to get as far as we wanted. Additionally I, Brad, normally write these directly after finishing those editing sessions, but between that emergency, National Scare-Veterans-And-Pets-While-BBQing Day, and some bad brain juice, I was unable to get to it until now. My sincerest apologies.
Anyway, before awful things happened we got to do quite a bit of editing that I'm quite proud to share with you. Most notably, we've gotten the introduction section to Walmoria finalized! See Below for it in it's temporary, Google Doc form.
Alt Text: a Google doc with the heading "Walmoria" and the following text: Hello there, and welcome to Walmoria. It’s lovely to see you today, come on in! My name is Krablene, and I’m a greeter here at Walmoria: where the values are always great, and the products are as cheap as management can bear to make them. It’s real nice to meet you. It’s always a pleasure to see a new face around here. What’s that? Yes, I am the Krablene, I suppose. I wouldn’t say I’m famous, but I guess a lot of people do seem to like taking my picture these days! It’s just the magic of Walmoria at work I suppose. Anyway, come along now, time’s a wastin’. Have you ever been to Walmoria before? No? Well don’t you worry deary, that’s what ol’ Krablene is here for. I’ll give you the official walkaround, and if you’ve got any questions - well then you just ask, okay, sweetie? Here at Walmoria, we have thousands of items, ranging from the mundane to the magical. You want rope, we got rope. Our potions come individually or in twelve packs. We’ve got tires, toys, and swords. We’ve got pets that are plants, plants that are snacks, and snacks that are pets. We’ve got dedicated departments for frozen goods, shrubbery, guns, potions, and so much more! Honestly I’ll run out of breath before I get halfway. I’ll be straight with you, dear; Whatever you’re looking for, we’ve got it. I’m not kidding! Whatever it is, it’ll be here. Just don’t get lost looking! My biggest piece of advice? Always ask for directions. Don’t be prideful, ain’t no shame in asking for help! Hell, some days you’ll swear the shelves are moving around in this place - and that’s because they are. I’m sorry dearie, I’m not trying to give you the willies. Walmoria’s a wonderful, magical place, full of wonderful, magical people, just like you. Some of them are a touch peculiar, and that ol’ Walrog sure does have his fair share of conniptions, but that’s just people being people I suppose! Nothing to worry your little head about. Enjoy your shopping now, and welcome to Walmoria!
Want to just know absolutely everything about Krablene? Well, That'd be a much longer update, but we CAN share with you what she looks like....
Alt text: Krablene, a one-part crab, one part human with shoulder length blonde hair that curls on the end is holding a pumpkin, t-bone steak, length of sausage and rack of ribs. She has a plate metal arm and wears a purple tunic under a leather belt.
Yes, we are aware that she looks quite similar to a Kaerenite. But not to fret, Krablene would never stoop so low as to join the ranks of the Kaerens. Here's a pick of what a Cruelty of Kaerens looks like! Similar, I will agree, but I think you'll find there are distinct differences:
Alt Text: Three Kaerenites stand in a power formation. Two are dressed in long, flowing blue robes at about knee-height of the other. Those two, who are in the foreground, are also wearing withering sneers, and one has a leather armored cuirass over their robes. The third towers over them in an off the shoulder purple sweater, a pair of blue shorts and similarly colored leg warmers. They hold a purse in one hand and a clenched fist in the other.
In addition to these sneak peeks, we have good news, The Layout Machine has started again this time with fresh Gas! That's right, J.B. has told us he's feeling well enough to pick up steam on laying things out and HOT DAMN is he cookin'! Hopefully we'll have full layout pages for you soon but it IS a process and we DO want to make it all just right before we show it off and put it on our collective fridge's.
Conclusion:
That's all for now! We'll be returning to steady working on edits and, If I'm being honest, it feels like we're getting really close now. I know we have awhile to go now, and I know that there are many hours yet of debate regarding what EXACTLY is gunna make y'all laugh (or sigh as the case may be) the hardest. However, I really can't shake the feeling that we are SO VERY close to finishing this bad boy and getting it to y'all.
What would y'all like to see in next week's preview? Another faux-mockup of what you'll be seeing in the final product? More Art? More text snippets? A little of each? YOU DECIDE!
WEDNESDAY UPDATE!?! ON MY KICKSTARTER?! It's more likely than you think
over 4 years ago
– Wed, Jun 30, 2021 at 11:39:55 PM
Hey Everybody, guess what?
WE STARTED EDITING WALMORIA TODAY!
That's right. We have begun the trek up Mount Walmoria. Part of the intimidation factor of Walmoria going in was that we knew how very heckin' LOOONNNGGG it was and how much of an ordeal that was going to make it! We began, however, and semi immediately discovered that there was something that would go WAAAYYY better if we kept it a secret for the adventure path when it comes out. So naturally we cut it, and a few other things, and as a result, NEARLY 6 pages suddenly poofed!
Unfortunately, because most of our work today was deleting things I don't have too much to show you all. We will, however, have ANOTHER update for you coming for this Saturday after we get even further into the weeds on Walmoria, and THAT one will have some new fun stuff I can show off for ya. It'll also be quite a bit longer as we are very tired and it has been one hell of a week over here.
Stay safe 'til we talk next friends.
Mountain Climbing Preparation
over 4 years ago
– Mon, Jun 21, 2021 at 10:49:22 PM
Hey friends,
Happy Juneteenth and Happy Fathers day!
The Action Fiction team spent yesterday making sure everything was ready to go on The Hall of Murka, doing quite a bit of cleaning up grammar wise, and generally-speaking preparing ourselves to scale Mount Walmoria before we undertake that great endeavor.
The Proof:
"SHOW US WHAT YOU'VE BEEN WORKING ON!" I hear you say. And believe me, I hear you. As promised last week, here is the last of our three cults, the dreaded Cult of Kaeren, that appears primarily in Walmoria but truly they are a scourge all across the Murkan nation.
Alt Text: The Cult of Kaeren gets 2 abilities, as does every other cult. The first is a Psychic yelling attack with a semi-low DC, and the second is a passive trait that causes all of the creature's attacks to deal an extra 1d6 psychic damage and any time a target is hit by an attack from such a creature, the target makes a DC:13 Wisdom saving throw, on a failure the target is frightened of the creature.
This is definitely the least fun cult to play as as a GM, but damn me if every person I've run into and wanted to play with hasn't been excited at the prospect of defeating some evil Kaeren Cultists.
As they should, as someone who worked in food-service, it's awfully therapeutic.
Next, In our preparation so we discovered that the Hall of Murka was lacking quite a few adventure paths, and as such had to add some in of our own. The following contains one adventure path written by Jaron, one by Collin, and one by Brad. Be aware, some of these may get a little long.
Alt Text: Allure Blossom vs. The World. Tired of being seen as the manic fae dreambae of every sadboi needing therapy who's ever set foot in an Infernal Gossip, Allure has just one, simple favor to ask of the party: Travel throughout the Hall of Murka and defeat their eight eboi exes.
Alt Text: the Malt Chocolate Falcon. A beautiful and surly woman approaches the party and offers them money if they can find the fabled Malt Chocolate Falcon - an ice cream and milkshake shop that once existed in the Underhall. Before the shop can be located the young woman is found dead, and the hall guardians suspect the party of foul play. Even stranger is: once the party make it to the Malt Chocolate Falcom, the young woman is there, behind the counter, scooping ice cream. What the hell is going on here?
Alt Text: On His Rat-Jesty's Secret Service. An old enemy of Ratinim, Blofish, has threatened to poison the entire Court of Food with many of the seasonings from the Spicy Pepper and Chik-n-Fella, turning all food eaten there into terrible, disease ridden waste. He will only stop if Crown Management pays him an enormous amount of bucks, which Ratininm knows the Crown would never do. Ratinim has thus dispatched the party on a secret mission with his trusted ally Artemis Gaff. they've been tasked to find out where blofish is hiding, and stop him before it's too late.
Can you guess who wrote which? You get one guess, First person to successfully do so will get a special role in the community discord saying that they are a Smart Cookie.
Conclusion:
This next week we finish our mountain climbing preparations and head off into the wild blue yonder that is Walmoria, a treacherous land if ever there was one. As I've said time and time again this is our last mountain, but folks, it IS in fact a mountain. We ask that you continue to be your incredible, patient, beloved selves and bear with us through this process, and we promise to keep you as updated as possible.
Sincerely,
Brad, of Action Fiction.
WE DID IT Y'ALL, WE FINISHED HALL OF MURKA!
almost 5 years ago
– Mon, Jun 14, 2021 at 11:56:31 PM
I have edited 500 miles (worth of paper) and I will edit 500 more (miles worth of paper), just to be the thing who edited 1000 miles (worth of paper) to get this de-liv-ered to your door. DAH DAH DAH! DAH DAH DAH! Dumdumdumdumdumdumdumdum dum!
We did it y'all. We conquered The Hall of Murka. That means we can FINALLY get started on that last mountain, Walmoria, before entering the valley of molehills.
We're so excited y'all! Between this, all the art being finished, and the Adventure path beginning to truly take shape, it's looking more and more like this thing will become a reality and not just some endless essay hydra that everytime we cut a page grows two more in its place.
Hercules cuts through the hydra from the inside. Slicing off its head and granting him a sense of accomplishment, but only a momentary reprieve....Nope, no similarities here!
What you really come here for: The Updates!
Today we have a couple of updates for you, our next and a preview of some of the NPCs you can run into in the Hall of Murka!
Each faction section will get 3 NPCs listed out like this but we gave the Hall of Murka Four instead, mostly because it felt wrong to separate the Hetero lifemates Jey and The Silent Tongue.
Next, we have this weeks Cult: one of my personal favorites, both mechanically and flavorfully, this one you can find in Flavor City: The Cult Of The Court Of The Colonel:
Poultryoshka are, as a quick reminder, basically delicious necromantic turducken.
Finally we have a quick mock-up of what that particular cult will look like in the book along with some of the adjoining art.
Please keep in mind that the person who did this is distinctly NOT our Layout artist and as such it will all look WAY better in the book.
Oh Look, a Poultryoshka!
Conclusion
As always should you have specific questions you should feel free to jump into our discord and ping any one of us with questions, or even just hang out and enjoy the massive amounts of cute pet photos, stale memes, and occasional TTRPG discussion that happens there.
Today's question: If we did a video update in the near future, what kind of things would y'all like to see? What kind of questions could we answer?
Bonus: Here's a picture of Collin hard at work, seriously concentrating on something very important. If you decide to make this a meme I absolutely cannot stop you.
Also, is it just me or is Collin looking real good lately? Like, real "working on myself even though it isn't easy" vibes? Very like, "I love food but I'm gunna stick to a health plan because I care about my wellbeing" type thing, ya know?
